Thursday, September 3, 2009

Is your Relationship Worth Saving? Important Advice on How to Save a Relationship

By Paul Lindquist

John works all the time and Marsha does not feel that he is around the family often enough. Marsha spends most of her time taking care of the children and John feels that she does not spend enough time with him. Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here is how to save a relationship.

First of all, the two of you must decide together if you believe that the relationship is worth salvaging. If you are both willing to put in the work, then most any relationship can be saved. However, if one of the persons involved just gives up and no longer wants to try, then the relationship is probably doomed.

Alot of people remain in a relationship out of convenience or stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. While the needs of the children should be of the utmost importance, that is often not enough. How to save a relationship begins with both parties making a strong commitment to saving it.

The next step to how to save a relationship is to find out the real problems within the relationship. This is where a lot of people get off track. They often believe that a symptom to a problem is the actual problem.

An example of this is a couple that is no longer truly intimate together. To fill that void, one or both may seek to get the need for intimacy met by someone else. Now, this behavior is just a symptom, and will most likely continue unless the underlying problem of no true intimacy in the relationship is dealt with.

After you've gotten past the symptoms and figured out the core problems with the relationship, it's time to sit down and share your thoughts and feelings about these problems. This means a two way exchange of both talking AND listening.

Now that you've together created a detailed report of the core problems that are leading your relationship to failure, come up with a plan together on how you are going to solve these problems and restore your relationship. After creating the plan, act right away and get your plan implemented.

If not spending enough time together is the issue, plan a night every week to go out together on a date. Come up with different creative things to do on these dates and make them memorable. Then make sure to FOLLOW THROUGH with this commitment.

The last point to remember is that how to save a relationship is never a completed work. ALL relationships have their issues, even among couples who've been together for fifty years or more. The key is to always approach your partner with an attitude of love and forgiveness. This kind of attitude will give you a far better chance of a lasting relationship.

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